The Birth Mother by Tara Taylor Quinn

Author:Tara Taylor Quinn
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

IT HAUNTED HER in the two days that followed, as well. She worked incredibly long hours, even for her, waiting for the moment Bryan would call to say he had the tapes ready for her to view, even while she dreaded speaking with him if it was only going to be about something so superficial. She’d never made love with the man, never shared any real physical intimacies with him, and yet she had the feeling he knew her as well as she knew herself.

Part of her couldn’t believe the cruelty of fate that would allow her a taste of all life could be, all that her life had been without, only to make it all unobtainable. But the other part of her, the weak part, knew that it was only what she deserved. What right did she have to love, to be loved, to live happily ever after, when she’d withheld her love from her own child?

He finally called Friday afternoon.

“The tapes are still in the lab. They should be ready sometime early next week,” he said as soon as she picked up the phone.

Jennifer smiled. It was just so damn good to hear from him. “Hello yourself.” She wrapped the phone cord around her finger.

“How you doing?” His voice was softer, more personal as he asked the question.

“I’ve been better. I miss you.”

“Enough to have dinner with me tonight?”

Her heart began to slam against her ribs. “Just you?”

A heavy silence hung over the line, as if he was only just then deciding the answer himself. She held her breath, hoping with all she was worth that his answer was yes.

“Me and Nicki,” he finally said.

She thought about all the what-ifs and what-might-have-beens she’d been torturing herself with for the past couple of days. And she hadn’t even met his niece. She was afraid to find out how much worse it would get if she did what he wanted.

“I can’t, Bryan.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing, Jen. Nicki’s a great kid.”

She closed her eyes. That was exactly what she was afraid of. Meeting Nicki was going to make her need to have what she could never have all that much worse. And more, she was terrified that if she met Nicki, it was only going to prove, once and for all, that she was a failure with kids. Bryan wouldn’t be able to make any excuses for her if his own kid didn’t like her. And she wouldn’t be able to make any, either.

“It’s not Nicki that’s the problem, Bryan. It’s me. I’m sorry. I can’t have dinner with you tonight.”

He said, “You can’t run forever, Jen. Think about it.” And he hung up.

As awful as Jennifer felt, she also knew a huge sense of relief when she dropped the receiver back into the cradle. He’d invited her to dinner again. He’d had time to think about the bombshell she’d dropped in his lap on Wednesday, time to calculate the years, time to figure out what she’d been doing when most fifteen-year-olds were still having their parents drive them to the movies.

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